Case Study: When Competence Becomes the Difference Between Confusion and Confidence

Sonal, a first-generation graduate working at a youth development nonprofit, was matched with Raghav, a corporate volunteer mentor known for being warm, enthusiastic, and encouraging. In their early sessions, Raghav relied on instinct rather than preparation. He would begin with, “So, tell me what’s going on,” and offer spontaneous advice based on whatever Sonal shared that day. She liked him, but often left their conversations with more confusion than clarity. She struggled to apply what they discussed because the advice was scattered, lacked follow-through, and didn’t link to her long-term goals. This mirrored a common mentorship issue — the absence of a clear, structured process leaves mentees feeling lost, even when the mentor’s heart is in the right place.

Competence Is a Skill, Not a Personality Trait
During a mentor training circle, Raghav heard a facilitator say: “You can’t teach someone to swim by describing the water. You must give them step-by-step guidance.” Another leader added that real competence in mentoring means connecting ideas to action, not leaving “a bridge with missing planks.” Raghav realised that he had been over-relying on friendliness and general wisdom, without offering any scaffolding or tools. He hadn’t helped Sonal break her challenges into components, identify patterns, or create a coherent path forward. Competence wasn’t about knowing all the answers — it was about using a reliable structure, asking the right questions, and helping the mentee operationalise insights.


Raghav returned to the next session with a new approach. He began with a check-in, then outlined a simple three-step structure for their conversation: (1) What is the challenge? (2) What options do we see? (3) What is one action you’ll take before we meet again? He asked sharper questions that linked Sonal’s daily struggles to broader themes like time management, emotional triggers, and team dynamics. Together, they created a working document that captured her goals, insights, and commitments. Over the next two months, Sonal’s confidence soared. She felt supported, but also empowered — because the mentoring was no longer vague inspiration. It had become a grounded, competent practice. Raghav finally understood that competence in mentoring is not about brilliance — it is about consistency, clarity, and helping someone move from insight to implementation.

Competence (कौशल)

shows up when mentors practice:

  • Competence shows up when a mentor listens with full attention, free from distraction, assumptions, or the urge to interrupt. They not just hear words — they understand meaning, emotion, and intention. Mentors use phrases like: “What I’m hearing is…”, “Tell me more about…”, “Did I get that right?”

  • Boundaries protect both the mentor and the mentee, keeping the relationship healthy, ethical, and purpose-driven. Competence is that pause when asked for help outside your role — and redirecting to the right resources. You respect the mentoring role, and not let it drift into posing as a therapist, parent, saviour, or friend.

  • Competence means helping mentees see possibilities and limits without discouraging their motivation. You help mentees weigh options realistically while still honouring their aspirations and agency.